I recently read a blog entry from a user that was concerned about the teachings of her pastor and if she and her husband should leave the church. My situation is very similar...only to the nth degree. Here are a few excerpts of things my pastor has said (and continues to say) in many of his sermons...and at any given time. WARNING: CONTENT IS SEXUALLY CHARGED
1. About a year ago, he'd been teaching a series having to do with the issue of fornication in the church (kinda of a play on the TV series, "Sex in the City"). He found it necessary to discuss many of the private, sexual matters of he and his wife, the mother and First Lady of our congregation. Here's some of what he related regarding his wife:
"I like sucking on you; kissing on you; pulling on you;" that when he first met her, her breasts were like plums now they're like watermelons, etc.
2. In the middle of sermons, he felt compelled to find out who in the church was fornicating. He proceeded to ask each and every unmarried member: "Are you screwing?"
3. Most recently on Mother's Day 2009, after he'd lauded his wife for everything she does for him, the church and others, he then found it necessary to express how much he is in love with her, which turned into a lewd fest. These are some of the comments he related to the congregation about he and his wife:
"I like kissing on you, sucking on you, pulling on you, touching you..."
"I don't sleep with shorts on..."
"I sleep in bed with my wife every night..."
The above is a very small portion of the kinds of things our congregation is exposed to on a regular basis. Not to mention the nausea-inducing emphasis on money and the kind of control the pastor seems to have over the entire congregation, from what married couples should or should not be doing in bed to where parents should send their children to school, etc. I can tell you that many in our congregation thinks the pastor's vile rhetoric is funny, but there are many who do not think so and have left the church for one reason or another.
I've been praying about leaving, as the spiritual robustness of the church as deteriorated significantly over the 9 years I have been a member. This is a difficult decision to make, as this church has become family to me. But, I feel that God is with me. I believe in doing things decently and in order, which would be to talk to the pastors about how I feel and inform them of my decision to leave. However, judging from how other members who have left the church are often mocked and ridiculed during sermons, I fear this will be my fate. I've been fasting and praying over the matter and know God will give me the right time to speak with the leadership and the right words to say.
Your thoughts and comments are appreciated.
Comments (5)
Yes, it's difficult to speak up. It is sad to see a place that was once family deteriorate and become dysfunctional. I do appreciate your desire to do things decently and in order and that you are certainly not rushing into this.
As long as you speak the truth with gentleness and in love and humility (I Cor. 16:13-14; II Tim. 2: 24-26; Eph. 4:15ff; Gal. 6:1-3) you have nothing to fear. God will be with you and will bless you for your obedience, even though there may be negative ramifications. Entrust yourself to Him like Jesus did (I Peter 2:19-23).
I will be praying the Holy Spirit will lead you and give you the time and place and the words to speak.
May Christ's peace be in you and with you in the midst of your current storm.
@naphtali_deer@xanga -
Hi, thank you so very much for reading my post and responding! Thanks for your commitment to prayer about my situation. I will study the scriptures you have posted. I must say that I am dealing with anger in my heart toward my pastor...i know I must be purged of this in order for God really to be glorified. Besides the lewd comments he makes in his sermons there are a number of issues that go on behind the scenes that I have been made privy to, thus tainting my view of the ministry further. I have to release this anger and I will with the help of God. Thank you so much and God bless!
@crucianchristian - You're welcome. God has tried to teach me by experience...but I'm a slow learned, but I do want to pass along what He has taught me when I have opportunity. It sounds like you are honest with yourself about your sin/temptation and you are really seeking to glorify God. I've found it helpful/lifegiving to keep reading/contemplating/praying the end of Matthew 5. As you do so, ask the Holy Spirit work through His Word to examine you and empower you to work in you the love and forgiveness you cannot produce yourself. Just as Jesus told us pray for daily bread and daily forgiveness from God, we must also be praying for God to give us the power to forgive others daily. Philippians 2:12-13.
If you leave, who cares if this guy mocks and ridicules you? You won't be there to hear it, and it doesn't sound like anybody else would take him seriously at this point. Honestly, he sounds like a jerk. Just because he's the leader of a church doesn't automatically make him a perfect person whose questionable sermons should be respected and put up with... especially if he's as lewd as you claim.
I think the fact that you are asking this question is confirmation enough. This isn't a matter of forgiveness, it's a matter of disgrace. This man is supposed to be your leader, you're supposed to follow his example and your conscience doesn't feel comfortable with this. The Holy Spirit through your conscience is confirming the word of God that says anyone who wants to be an overseer in the church must live above reproach. I think you should read 1 Timothy 3.
You shouldn't have to suffer like this. Ask God to connect you to a strong body of believers who live in purity and holiness. He will lead you.
I will be praying for you.